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Hapless Planter – Ep2: Cheat your way out of trouble

Hapless Planter – Ep2: Cheat your way out of trouble

Ello Chester, how goes it?


Me too, just a tad. Anyway, we continue my journey of buying, propagating then murdering plants in a desperate attempt to distract myself from the ever increasing tedium of my life.

How fun!

For Ep2 I thought I’d share the tips and tricks I’ve picked up in my brief plant career, which seem to have allowed my poor little green pals to cheat death (if only for a little longer).

Waterbirding – despite my best, shocking efforts, some of my plants refuse to make peace with the water volume I offer up, and for these plants, I offer – birds. The most resilient plant that’s ever had the displeasure of residing in my home is a pothos, which, when bought from Grosvenor Garden centre, was in tip-top condition.

Largely ignored, it limped on in low light on a high shelf for a year, until it was one, sorry-looking leaf. Until a bird got balls deep in its soil that is! (sorry, not sorry). The medium size, the only size I can find, is too big and a bit pricey but these little open-mouthed beauties have revived many of my dying plants by, in theory, allowing the plant to soak up the exact amount of water it needs. Check them out here.

Life-giving elixirBaby Bio Houseplant fertiliser – available from tons of places and super cheap. It’s revived a lot of my houseplants who were on their way out and added lustre to leaves. I recommend (and who wouldn’t trust my recommendation) adding a few drops of this concentrated wonder juice to water all year round.

See Also

Propagate from the dying – if you’re rapidly losing the battle but a healthy shoot or two remains, look into how you propagate from that specific plant (hopefully it’s the easier root of lopping off in the right place and popping in water until roots grow). Check out this bad boy, sitting in a pot of rot, a few desperate limbs trying to escape. Poor little fella! Time for urgent measures.

Join me next time, where I’ll share further photographic evidence that things are really not looking good.

On the plus side, I can spend less time watering, and more time thinking about the great, dark, abyss that is January. It’s the little things!

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