Hello and welcome to our brand-spanking and somewhat green-tinged series – Hapless Planter. Where I show you, in no uncertain terms a wide variety of what not to do, when caring for house and garden plants. Follow me, a passionate individual, whose enthusiasm in no way makes up for her lack of knowledge and experience.
Episodes will be released in a haphazard fashion, but rest assured all will feature clumsy, ill-advised, winging-it-esque approaches to plant propagation and survival.
You will learn very little and I don’t recommend that you follow any of the tips or approaches demonstrated in this series.
But one thing’s for sure, everyone will have a great time watching as I spend all the money I could’ve easily saved during Covid on things that die, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, and always, for your visual enjoyment.
Informed gardeners will cry, plant-lovers will weep, and green will turn to brown with startling regularity.
Perhaps one or two will be kind enough to comment, and share some kind of valuable guidance and advice for other readers. It’s certainly nice to think that one aspect of this series could be remotely considered helpful.
Every now and again, defying all logic and reason, plants will miraculously thrive, or perhaps limp on for much longer than expected, in a bizarre twist of events.
Anyway, better shoot, plants to murder and all that.
Talk soon, HP xx
Ep4 – Coming soon